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Larry's Tourist Bios

Thanks to Crazy Packers Fan for these bios

Sub-con Characters

Name: Shy Guy
Info: Shy Guys don’t have much of a life, trying to stay away from everyone else and not talking much. They usually just walk back and forth, and sometimes come in the sizable version, which is the very large kind. They’re not someone you’d like to be around.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart’s purpose for Shy Guys was for them to be an
obstacle for Mario and his loser friends. He colored them red and blue for how big of a brain each one had.
Red Shy Guys are stupid and just walk straight forward, even off cliffs. Blue Shy Guys know better and walk back and forth on a platform.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent
Rating (0-4 stars): no stars

Name: Snifit
Info: Snifit is just like Shy Guy but with a gas mask thing over his face. He fires nightmare bullets from that evil mask, so if you want a nightmare, just stand in front of a Snifit. They are also very boring to be around, being like a Shy Guy.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted something stronger than a Shy Guy, so he made them have masks with bullets being able to be shot out. Of course, there was a mistake again with the
Dream Machine, with some having smaller brains than others. The dumb ones (who just walk off cliffs) were
colored red, the smarter ones (who walk back and forth) were colored blue, and a new variation (who
jump up and down) was colored gray.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, jumping, spitting nightmare bullets
Rating: ***

Name: Beezo
Info: Beezos are another form of Shy Guys, this time flying Shy Guys with pitchforks. They are smarter than
Shy Guys, being able to swoop down on opponents or just fly straight forward. They are pretty dull beings
too, just like Shy Guys and Snifits.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart needed an enemy that could fly because he realized the Marios kept jumping over the Shy Guys and Snifits. So he created the Beezos to fill that need.
Attacks: Flying into opponent with pitchfork
Rating: **1/2

Name: Ninji
Info: Ninjis are little black star-like creatures that jump up and down. They sometimes run back and forth
and jump too. They are energy-filled creatures that are usually in such a hurry that you couldn’t even get in
a sentence to them before they start going crazy.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart’s original plan was to make Ninjis jump up and
down really fast to block off areas with no walls. However, the Dream Machine messed up, creating Ninjis
who jump up and down slowly and low jumps before high jumps, but still slow, and Ninjis who run back and
forth fast and jump sometimes.
Attacks: Running into opponent, jumping
Rating: **1/2

Name: Flurry
Info: Flurries are little balls of ice that can run really fast on ice. However, they can also slip and fall down pits because of poor traction. They move so fast and are so dumb that you wouldn’t want to talk to them, even if they did have time to talk to you.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted something that would blend into the ice world and chase Mario endlessly. But after his experiment failed and the Flurries turned out dumb, Wart wanted to kill them all off. There were too many to do so, so he just threw hundreds of them into the ice worlds to make at least somewhat of a challenge to Mario.
Attacks: Running into opponent
Rating: **

Name: Pidgit
Info: Pidgits are flightless crows who need Magic Carpets to fly. Of course, these Magic Carpets just
help out the Marios more than they help the Pidgits. Pidgits follow the same flying pattern and aren’t very
fun to be around, because they’re almost like robots.

Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted another flying enemy. However, the Dream Machine failed (again!), and the crows he got were flightless. He then made Magic Carpets for the Pidgits to be able to fly on, but by doing that, he inadvertently gave Mario and his pitiful, pathetic pals a way across large gaps in worlds.
Attacks: Swooping down on opponent, bumping into opponent
Rating: no stars

Name: Sparky
Info: Sparkies are balls of electricity that go around a certain object or wall relentlessly, either fast or slow. They love chains, and they are even attracted to them for some reason. They aren’t anything you’d like to be around either, thanks to that shock of theirs.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted to torture Mario, and what better way but
through electricity! But, of course, Wart’s Dumb Machine, or the Dream Machine, messed up again, and
instead of getting the entire wall electrified, he only got sparks of electricity (hence their name). They then came out fast or slow, depending on how much electricity was in them, but it all feels the same to the Marios!
Attacks: Running into opponent
Rating: ***

Name: Phanto
Info: Phantos are crazy faces that chase the Marios when they hold a Key. They become big and small
randomly, but don’t follow very closely. They move so fast and only live in jars or closed-off rooms, giving
them a not very outgoing personality.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart had to have a guardian of the locked doors in case the Marios would find a Key. However, over half the Phantos that were made came out frozen into a wall, and only about a third even worked. Then they weren’t given very good homing signals on the Keys, and made the Phanto experiment nearly worthless.
Attacks: Flying into opponent
Rating: *

Name: Panser
Info: Pansers are Fire Flowers. Seriously, they are flowers who spit fireballs. They are very dangerous to be around, which is why you wouldn’t want to talk to them; they could turn on you!
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart decided to put Fire Flowers into his Moronic Machine (the Dream Machine, of course) and see what would come out. Out came Pansers, with different brain sizes, too. Red Pansers are frozen in one spot and fire their firepower in arcs to the left and right. Green Pansers are also stuck in one place, but their fireballs only go up and down straight. Blue Pansers are dangerous thanks to their ability to shoot in left and right arcs and move along platforms at the same time.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, fireballing opponent
Rating: ****

Name: Hoopster
Info: Hoopsters are basketball-shaped ladybugs, giving them their names. They are used for basketball-type of competitions, but their real purpose in life is to climb up and down vines and hurt Mario. As with most Sub-con creatures, you wouldn’t want to talk to them, unless you’re standing on their faces!
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted Mario to be unable to use the many vines
growing in different worlds of Sub-con, so a cheaper way than trying to cut down all the many vines would
be to inhabit them with bugs. Many bugs. The Hoopsters were also made to surprise the Marios on vines, making them a better opponent than others.
Attacks: Climbing vine, bumping into opponent
Rating: ***

Name: Trouter
Info: Trouter is a fish (a trout, in fact!) that lives in waterfalls, but jumps in and out of them, never leaving them. Of course, it is another enemy that inadvertently helps the Marios: it can help them across large gaps of waterfalls in World 5-2. Trouters wouldn’t be able to carry on a conversation with you for long; they have to keep jumping up and down.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted a guardian of the seas, so he created the
pathetic, pitiful Trouter out of his Dumb Dream Machine of Doom. Trouter then inadvertently started to help the Marios, causing Wart much anger, so he wanted to destroy all the Trouters, but he couldn’t so he just let them be.
Attacks: Jumping up and down out of water, and bumping into opponent
Rating: *1/2

Name: Porcupo
Info: Porcupo is a porcupine who just walks forward like Red Shy Guys, but isn’t found very often. You
can’t jump on its back, and it isn’t very friendly to talk to or carry on a conversation with.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted an improvement off the dumb Red Shy Guys, so he created still-pretty-dumb-but-not-as-dumb-as-the-dumb-Red-Shy-Guys-dumb-Porcupos, with spikes on their backs.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, spiked back will hurt opponent if opponent jumps on it
Rating: **1/2

Name: Albatoss
Info: Another traitor to Wart’s forces, Albatoss tosses Bob-ombs. Of course, Albatosses that don’t toss Bob-ombs are very friendly to talk to and ride, which the Marios fully took advantage of.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted another strong minion for his air force, and he drafted the slow-flying Albatoss to toss Bob-ombs on Mario. He failed to come up big with this one, being that Albatosses help out the Marios freely.
Attacks: Flying into opponent, bumping into opponent; dropping Bob-ombs on opponent
Rating: **

Name: Bob-omb
Info: Bob-ombs go around blowing up, and are usually either tossed by Albatosses or pulled out of the
ground as pieces of grass (like Sizable Shy Guys). They do what they can, but commit suicide doing so,
except for a few exceptions, like Bombette. They aren’t very fun to be around; that’s for sure!
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Bob-ombs can explode and create holes in rocks, and
Wart wanted this to make the later courses more challenging, but the trouble was too many Bob-ombs were being killed, exploded, and blown up, which caused Wart to continuously make Bob-ombs out of his Dream Machine.
Attacks: Running into opponent, blowing up next to opponent, falling on opponent, blowing holes in rocks forming a pit
Rating: ****

Name: Tweeter
Info: Tweeters are just hopping Shy Guys. Actually; they are birds with those Shy Guy masks. They are slow
and sometimes can be found near bosses, especially Triclyde. They are also pretty stupid. They aren’t fun
to be around, simply because they don’t talk.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted another flying enemy, but his experiment failed and this time the birds hopped instead of being completely flightless, so he just threw them by bosses
and in other dumb places.
Attacks: Hopping into opponent
Rating: 1/2

Name: Cobrat
Info: Cobrats supposedly appear in the dreams of Toad, but I’ve never seen his dreams before. Anyway, these snakes jump out of jars and quicksand and they fire nightmare bullets, just like Snifits. They are
annoying, and you don’t want to be around them. They aren’t fun to be around.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted protectors of the desert and the jars, and he got one of the best enemies in the game, or, er, I mean, in all of Sub-con, a nightmare-bullet-spitting
Cobrat!
Attacks: Running into opponent, jumping into opponent, firing nightmare bullets
Rating: ****

Name: Pokey
Info: Pokey are moving cacti. They are just dumb cactuses with no brains. You wouldn’t want to be
around one of them.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart needed more desert protectors, and he tried to think of something desert-like. He got a great idea but a bad result: brainless cacti.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent
Rating: **1/2

Name: Autobomb
Info: Autobombs are machines that spit fire, and red Shy Guys ride on them. They spit fire but really don’t have a personality and aren’t really even an enemy, just a moving obstacle!
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart hoped that he could make those worthless red Shy Guys worth something, so he gave some of them Autobombs. However, those same Autobombs ended up doing another favor for the Marios in World 4-2, giving them a ride across spikes, causing Wart to cease all production of Autobombs.
Attacks: Rolling into opponent, spitting fireballs
Rating: ***

Name: Ostro
Info: Ostros are ostriches that are used as a means of transportation, especially Shy Guy transportation, but
sometimes Mario transportation! They are also very fast, but also very friendly, especially Mario-friendly.
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart wanted them to be just a fast enemy, but it turned out that the useless red Shy Guys used them as transportation. So he produced more to try to faze out the Autobombs, and he put the Ostros in places that Autobombs woudn’t help.
Attacks: Running into opponent
Rating: **1/2

Name: Birdo
Info: Birdos are everywhere. I mean, everywhere. They are mini-bosses and bosses of so many levels that I
can’t count them all. (Okay, I can, but I don’t feel like it!) They are not very friendly but pack a punch, spitting out many fireballs and eggs. One certain Birdo went off into Tennis-playing and fell in love with Yoshi!
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Wart thought he had the perfect idea for an enemy in a
Birdo, but after the Marios pounded on the Birdos, he created some new, better bosses and maybe a
replacement for Birdo...
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, jumping into opponent, shooting eggs, shooting fireballs
Favorite Quote: “I’m ready for you this time!”
Rating: ***1/2 (depending on which Birdo)

Name: Mouser
Info: Mouser is a bomb-throwing rodent who thinks he’s not just an ordinary mouse. He feels he is great and
is stuck up. He isn’t fun to be around; that’s for sure!
Why Wart Created Them (out of the Dream Machine): Mouser was Wart’s idea of a super-boss, one that knew
what he was doing. Actually, he instead just gave it all away with the fact that Mouser could be beaten by his own bombs!
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, jumping into opponent, throwing bombs
Quote: “Here, have some bombs!”
Rating: ***

Name: Triclyde
Info: Triclyde is a triple-headed snake. Its three heads don’t stand for anything; they’re just there to create a triple threat! He spits fireballs, by the way, and he’s not very friendly (like most other characters), but he does post a threat for the Marios!
Why Wart Created It (out of the Dream Machine): Wart thought that fire was the best element of attack (and it is!), so he created something like Cobrat, but better! His goal was to make Triclyde unstoppable, but he could not destroy those infamous Mushroom Blocks.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, spitting fireballs
Quote: “Step right up if you want to get... TOASTED!”
Rating: ****

Name: Robirdo (only found in Super Mario Advance)
Info: Robirdo is a mechanical, A.I. version of Birdo. It is unfriendly and strong, with its own personality and its own annoying voice. It spits its eggs, and will annoy you to death.
Why Wart Created It (out of the Dream Machine): Robirdo was a step-up from boring Birdo and shot super-sized eggs. It could also stun its opponents. It was something Wart had a dream about, and then he decided to create it for the rematch against Mario. Where he put it, I can’t tell...
Attacks: Charging into opponent, stun jumping, spitting eggs
Favorite Quote: “You’ve come a long way!”
Rating: ****

Name: Fry Guy
Info: Fry Guy is a hot-headed huge ball of fire that spits fireballs. He, surprisingly, wasn’t one of those
reoccuring characters in all the other games, probably because he somehow liked the cold. Anyway, Fry Guy is kind of shy, but he will still kill and grill you!
Why Wart Created It (out of the Dream Machine): Wart loved this element of fire, so he created one for the
Ice Land of Sub-con, probably as a surprise. He wanted a hot-head, and he also made it have an insurance
policy. A life insurance policy, that is, but the four mini-Fry Guys are all short-lived.
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, spitting fireballs, jumping into opponent
Quote: “I’m too hot to touch!”
Rating: ****

Name: Clawgrip
Info: Clawgrip was originally a crab from Mario Bros. until Wart changed him into a rock-tosser. This time it’s like Goliath tossing stones at David and David trying to toss them back, and this Clawgrip is mean, nasty, and thinks that you will make a tasty treat!
Why Wart Created It (out of the Dream Machine): An ordinary crab was all Wart had to work with, so he made the best of it. Actually, this Clawgrip is one of the hardest enemies to beat, which means that Wart did a pretty good job making him, that’s for sure!
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, throwing rocks (or stones)
Quote: “You’ll make a tasty treat!”
Rating: ****

Name: Wart
Info: Wart is a toad (no, not Toad himself, or a Mushroom) who spits bubbles out of his mouth. His idea
was to take over Sub-con and the rest of Plit with just his Dream Machine and himself spitting Bubbles,
but he failed twice against Mario. He is Bowser’s brother, and hopes to destroy all life other than Koopa. He once created Sub-con Park, a theme park related to Sub-con on Sub-con Island, but after his
enormously-sized Sub-conians went crazy and mad, he had to abandon the park. He has a daughter named Susan B. Koopa, a Pain in the Neck.
Why Wart Created Him (out of the Dream Machine): He didn’t!
Attacks: Bumping into opponent, spitting bubbles out of his mouth
Quote: “I am the great Wart!”
Rating: ****

Have a different opinion on the Koopas or any other characters? Email me!

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