(Mario, Luigi, Princess, and Toad are eating pasta outside, when Mario flips around and sees King Koopa and his kids marching towards them, holding a white flag.)
Mario: Impastable! King Koopas throwing
in the towel?
Koopa: Princess Toadstool, you're far
too clever for a reptile such as me... a lowly, humble-
Toad: Stupid, ugly, twofaced...
Mario: Yeah Koopa, tell us something we don't already know.
Koopa: I'm calling it quits.
Princess: *gasp*
Koopa: Me and my Koopalings are leaving the Mushroom Kingdom forever! I feel so bad I have caused you so much trouble. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me. I know this will not make up for all the misery I have caused you, but I want you to have this: the key to Castle koopa.
(Koopa gives Princess the key.)
Koopa: I'm donating our ex-home to charity.
Say goodbye, kids!
(They all wave goodbye, then they all
disappear down a pipe.)
Princess: Castle Koopa! I can turn
it into a retirement home for elderly Mushrooms!
Toad: Oooh, remind me never to grow
old!
Luigi: It's a trap Princess, throw
that key away and forgot that evil place ever existed!
Princess: But there are so many old
people in my kingdom who need a nice place to live. Ah, I'm going to take
a look at it right now.
Mario: You worry too much Luigi, I'll
walk along and protect her. How dangerous can Castle Koopa be?
(They soon arrive at the door of Castle
Koopa.)
Princess: Just a little sproosing up,
and this place will be real homey.
(A skeleton falls from the top of the
door.)
Princess: Uh, with a little work, of
course.
Mario: I'll go first.
(They walk past various vain pictures
of the Koopa Kids before coming to one of King Koopa. Mario thinks that
the picture's eyes are following him.)
Princess: Ugh, that picture will be
the first thing to go, it's as ugly and repulsive as King Koopa was in
person.
Thwomp: Now that you've been invited
to Castle Koopa, take this!
Princess: Aah!
(Thwomp falls.)
Thwomp: Rats! I missed! Ooh, I hate
it when I miss!
(It chases them down a hall to two
Ptooies.)
Mario: Look out! a Ptooie!
Ptooie: Ptooie to you too, Mario!
(They spit spiked balls at Mario and
Princess. Mario hits them back.)
Ptooey Oh, you make me so mad, I could
spit!
Mario: Some retirement home!
Princess: Gee, which way back to the
door?
(They fall through a trap door and
land in a dungeon.)
Mario and Princess: Whoa!
Koopa: We have guests, Cheatsy! I hope
they like our newly remodeled accommodations. Got an "A" rating, "A" for
Awful! Ha ha ha!
Princess: I should have known not to
trust you!
Mario: Yeah, once a sewer breath slime
wagon, always a sewer breath slime wagon.
Koopa: How nice of you to say so! Now
my boy, let me give you some more lessons in how to lie and cheat.
First, you tell them a big lie to get them in your clutches, then you squeeze
them for the big pay off!
(Cheatsy is dancing to his walkman
music. Koopa rips it off him.)
CheatsyL Dad!
Koopa: King Dad to you, now pay attention!
Watch me koop these doops out of the Mushroom Kingdom!
Princess: The Mushroom Kingdom?! Never!
Koopa: Sign here and your kingdom will
be mine!
Mario: Save your bad breath, Koopa!
Koopa: If you don't you two will be
forced into early permanent retirement here in my dungeon! Ha ha ha!
Princess: I'll never sign my kingdom
over to you!
Koopa: No? Well let me add some incentive!
(He pulls a lever. Bob-ombs start to
fill up the dungeon.)
Mario: Bob-ombs! Next to Koopa himself,
they are my most unfavorite things!
Koopa: See Cheatsy? They have no choice!
They have to meet my sneaky demands or my hot-tempered little friends will
explode! Ha ha ha!
Toad: They've been in there too long,
Luigi. Looks like someone'd better go in and see what happened.
Luigi: But the only way in is through
the drain pipe.
Toad: I agree, Luigi. Come get me when-
(Luigi grabs his arms.)
Toad: Hey! Us Mushrooms get all gross
and soggy and-
(They dive underwater to a drain pipe.
Meanwhile in the dungeon...)
Cheatsy: I like your big bang theory
King Dad!
Koopa: Thanks son. See, to be a real
big cheat, you have to double trick, double deal, and double cross!
Cheatsy: Double cross, huh?
Koopa: The sneakiest, dirtiest, rottenest
way you can find. Got it?
Cheatsy: Got it, King Dad!
(Luigi and Toad come up through the
floorboards to be met by two Sledge Brothers.)
Luigi: Ooh, a Sledge Brother!
(They try to get away but are thrown
into the dungeon.)
Koopa: Good work! Back to your posts!
Now Princess, two more of your friends will meet an explosive fate.
Princess: Will your court photographers
be there if I sign over the kingdom?
Koopa: Of course! It's the photo opportunity
of my life!
Princess: Then I'll do it on two conditions:
that you move us to the throne room, and that you change that tacky outfit.
Koopa: While I get pretty, you take
her to the throne room.
Cheatsy: Thanks for the cheating lesson,
King Dad!
Koopa: One day my boy, you may just
as big a cheat as I am!
(Koopa exits.)
Cheatsy: Not one day, King Dad! Just
watch me following your dirty footsteps! Guards!
Mario: (in wardrobe with Luigi and
Toad) Let us out, you sneaky Koopaling. Let us out! Let us out! LET US
OUT!
Cheatsy: Sign the kingdom over to me,
or your pals go back for a Bob-omb party.
Princess: (sarcastically) Oh, I guess
I have no choice.
(Princess turns around and signs the
document.)
Princess: There!
Cheatsy: The Mushroom Kingdom is mine,
mine! Ha ha ha! I can't wait to tell Dad that I double crossed him!
Princess (speaking into wardrobe):
Get ready guys, I, um, the Sledge Brothers are breaking you out of here!
(Princess picks up Cheatsy's lamp and
brakes it. Sledge Brothers come and break them free. The song "Gettin'
Burned" starts for a short version.)
Toad: If we could only fly, we'd be
out of here!
Mario: Not a bad idea! Maybe we can
find a Super Leaf!
(Mario starts to bash blocks. Camera
switches to the throne room. Photographers are lined up along a red carpet.
Koopa walks down towards the throne. Cheatsy comes up behind him, trips
him up, and jumps on the throne. Koopa gets up.)
Koopa: Whoa! Get off my throne, you
ugly upstack!
Cheatsy: Careful King Dad, I mean,
ex-King Dad, I'm the new king of Mushroom Kingdom, see?
(Koopa sees the document and Cheatsy
takes Koopa's crown.)
Cheatsy: 'Course, since you gave me
the idea to cheat you out of it, I'll make sure you get a cushy assignment.
Say, cleaning the royal stables?
Koopa: You nincom-koop!
(Koopa takes back the crown.)
Cheatsy: Hey! That's mine!
Koopa: No, it's mine you double crossing
dodo! Look!
(Cheatsy gasps. There is a stupid face
drawn where the signature should be.)
Koopa: The princess didn't sign the
scroll for you, but I'll make her sign it for me! Where are the prisoners?!
Cheatsy: Um, locked in my room.
Mario: (outside, flying with others
with Raccoon power) Not anymore!
Koopa and Cheatsy: Huh?!
Toad: Bye, Koopa!
Koopa: Guards! Guards!
Mario: Give it up, we already flew
the Koopa!
(They fly away. Koopa turns back to
Cheatsy.)
Koopa: *angry mumbling* It's all your
fault, you dirty, cheating double crosser!
Cheatsy: But King Dad, you should be
proud of me! I was only doing bad like you taught me!
Koopa: Stand still! I didn't give you
the whole lesson! *angry mumbling*
(Koopa chases Cheatsy around the throne.)
The End
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