(The scene starts
when the Mario Bros. and Toad are in a desert with a lot of wind, searching
for the princess.)
Mario: (talking
in mind) Plumber's log number 10-61, evil King Koopa had grabbed Princess
Toadstool and hid her way in the wild west.
(Mario reads a wanted sign on a Pokey.)
Wanted! Dead or
alive? Butch Mario and the Luigi kid.
Luigi: Hey Mario,
I told you we shouldn't of come. This place is full of dangerous outlaws.
Toad: (he points
to the wanted sign) Hey, that's you guys!
Luigi: Us? AH!
Mario: Reward,
10,000 gold pieces.
(A Pokey wakes
up and reads the reward.)
Pokey: 10,000
gold pieces! I'm taking you crooks to jail, now let that gold to the bank.
Mario: Hang on,
don't you wanna read the part about how dangerous we are?
Pokey: You! Ha!
I'll show you dangerous.
(The Pokey goes
after them.)
Luigi: Mario!
It's getting sticky. Do something.
Mario: Hey cactus!
In your face partner!
(Mario throws
a plunger in the Pokey's face.)
Toad: I don't
get it. You guys aren't crooks, how come your pictures are in that wanted
poster?
Mario: Must be
Koopa's idea. When we find where he's hiding the princess you can ask him.
(Change scene
to an abandoned mine where Koopa is keeping the princess captured. Koopa
is pulling the princess up in a cage with a handle.)
Princess: Mario,
Luigi, help!
Koopa: You'll
never see those pipsqueek plumbers again. I put prices on their heads,
ha ha ha, and a patsy on their tails. Your kingdom will never be free and
you'll spend the rest of your life crawling at night, ha ha ha.!
Princess: I'll
leave the crawling to you, you repulsive reptile.
(Koopa gives
the princess a small dish with three beans on it.)
Koopa: Then there's
breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the rest of the week, ha ha ha! I'll drop
by in a few weeks to accept your surrender. Starve well my pretty princess,
ha ha ha!
(Koopa walks away.
Change scene back to the desert, where the Mario Gang are still looking
for where Koopa has hidden the princess.)
Toad: When I
get my hands on that King Koopa I'll fix his wagon
Luigi: Hey! What's
the matter with Koopa's wagon? Is it broken?
Mouser: No, it's
just fine.
(The gang sees Mouser with Sniffits on Ostros behind them.)
Mouser: And it's
waiting for you, criminal vermin!
Mario and Luigi:
Mouser!
Mouser: Sheriff
Mouser to you, you despicable villains.
Luigi: Villans?
Yo! I never villain on nobody. I'm uh-
Mouser: Under
arrest, apprehended, and busted!
Mario: First
you have to catch us.
(Mario runs off
and so does Luigi and Toad, while the Sniffits and the Ostros just look
at them run off.)
Mouser: After
them feather brains! They're getting away!
(The Sniffits
realize it and go after the Mario Gang on top of Ostros. The Sniffits lose
them but the Mario Gang still keep running until they reach a dead end
waterfall.)
Luigi: Oh no!
End ded! I mean a dend dead! I mean-a we're trapped!
(Mario looks
at the waterfall and realizes there's logs for them to cross.)
Mario: Check
out those logs, we'll leap frog across.
Toad: I'm no
frog. I can't even swim.
Mario: Then we'll
leap Mushroom.
Luigi: You, you,
you leap. I'll look!
(Mouser and the
Sniffits find the Mario Gang stuck in a dead end.)
Mouser: The varmints
went thataway. Get 'em!
(Mouser and the
Sniffits go after the Marios.)
Mario: You gonna
stay here?
(Mario leaps
across the logs and so does Toad. Mario and Toad make it but Luigi is too
scared to cross. He decides what the heck and leaps across very nervously.
Luigi makes it just in time before Mouser arrives.)
Mouser: If they
can do it, so can I. Uh, I mean you. Putty charge!
(The Sniffits
look at each other, then jump on a log all together. They don't leap to
another log so they cause themselves to go down a waterfall. Mouser starts
crying. Change scene to a wild west city in a building called sheriff.
Koopa is in there, mad at Mouser.)
Koopa: Those
pesky plumbers got away, you bug-tooth bumble head! You have disgraced
the rodents everywhere! You put those drain drips in prison or I'll lock
you up instead.
Mouser: *gulp*
Don't worry King Koopa, ha, I'll get every bounty hunter in the territory
after them.
(Scene changes
back to the wild west desert where Mario, Luigi, and Toad are dressed up
as cowboys and riding on Ostros. They end up stopping where the reward
sign was posted on a Pokey and notice that the reward has changed.)
Luigi: Oh no!
Sherrif Mouser raise the reward for our capture.
(A Tweeter is
on top of the Pokey hearing the discussion from the guys.)
Toad: For 30,000
gold pieces, I might think about turning you in.
(The Tweeter
hears what the reward is now. He then squawks and flies away to tell Mouser
where the Marios are. Luigi looks at a cloud that's coming from the abandoned
mine, which is giving signals to help.)
Luigi: Hey, look
over there.
Mario: Help!
Help who?
Luigi: Who's
me?
Mario then sees
a picture of Princess Toadstool in a cloud.)
Mario: It's Princess
Toadstool. Let's go!
(Mario, Luigi,
and Toad head up to the abandoned mine with their Ostros. They make it
and get off their Ostros.)
Mario: Princess
Toadstool must be inside.
Mouser: Hold
it right there varmints. Reach for the sky you varmints!
(Mouser and some
Sniffits are surrounding the Ostros so the Marios wont get away. Mouser
is aiming at the Marios with a little baby Cobrat loaded with fireballs
in his hands. The Tweeter near him squawks at Mouser.)
Mouser: Not now
you ratfink, you get the reward later. You think I carry that much cash?
(Tweeter squawks
again.)
Mouser: I TOLD
YOU LATER!!!
Mario: Partners,
I think it's time to head for the hills.
(Mario and the
gang make a run for it by hitting the Sniffits out of the way and ride
the Ostros out of there. Mouser lights up a bomb and throws the bomb
to a big loose rock on top of the mine which explodes and the rock is loose.
The song Rawhide starts. The rock is rolling down the road and the Marios
are riding very fast, They reach the wild west city. They end up seeing
some Pokeys blocking the road. Luckily Mario sees a store sign that reads
free Italian food. The sign is covering the building sign Sheriff, and
inside Koopa is hiding out, ready to kidnap the Marios.)
Mario: Hey look!
Free Italian food, let's eat!
(The Marios get
off their Ostros and head into the building, while the rock still rolls
down and hits the Pokeys and keeps on rolling.)
Mario: Excuse
me Paizano! We'd like three orders of free spaghetti to go!
Koopa: How about
you stay, as my prisoners! Ha ha ha!
(The Marios hold up their hands high and they follow Koopa to a prison cell.)
Koopa: Princess
Toadstool can forget about a rescue. I got her badinsky buddies all koopered
up! Ha ha!
Toad: Looks like
we're facing 20 years of bread and water.
(Toad lays down
on one of the cells beds.)
Mario: Not me!
My stomach would never speak to me again. Listen, I got a plan.
Mario: Water!
Water!
Mouser: Ok, which
one of you plumb scum keeps yelling he's dieing of thirst?
Mario and Luigi:
(they point at each other) HIM!
Mouser: Hop tour
leeny this is my water ha ha!
(Mouser drinks
the water. Mario and Luigi begin clapping their hands together, getting
pasta power.)
Mario and Luigi:
Patty cake, patty cake, pasta man, gimme pasta power as fast as you can!
Mouser: Hey!
What do you loonies up to?
(Mario hits Mouser's
cowboy hat off his head and to the ground.)
Mouser: Hey!
What's the big idea?
Mario: Sorry
sheriff. It was an accident.
(Toad sneaks
underneath Mouser's hat without getting caught.)
Luigi: Yeah,
I mean we're so thirsty we don't know what we're doing.
(Mouser puts on
his hat with Toad still under it.)
Mouser: I'm warning
you jailbirds. Don't let it happen again!
(Mouser shuts
the cell door and heads to a bar near by. When he enters the bar he takes
off his hat and puts it on the table and sits down near a bartender.)
Mouser: Give
me a shot of louver!
(Toad takes a
peek outside and sees Bob-ombs nearby.)
Toad: Bob-ombs!
Just what we need for the break!
(Toad heads over
to the Bob-ombs, still underneath the hat. He then gets a Bob-omb and sets
it up.
Toad: You'll
get a bang out of this Sheriff Mouser!
(Toad leaves
the loaded Bob-omb at the bar and makes a run for it. Then the bar blows
up.)
Mario: If Toad
doesn't get us out of here soon. I'm gonna eat this mattress.
Toad: Bombs away!
(Toad throws a
bomb. Mario and Luigi here Toad's voice. They do nothing at all. just look
at the wall where Toad is going to throw it and they get blown up by the
Bob-omb. It ruined rheir faces.)
Luigi: Yo! I
need a doctor.
Mario: I need
a pizza.
Mouser: Stop
them! Stop those horse thieves!
(Mouser is talking
to the Koopa Troopas, but the Marios get away and head to the abandoned
mine.)
Mario: You're
right toad, this is the mine where Princess Toadstool was sending us smoke
signals.
Luigi: I hope
we can find her, before the sherrif posse finds us.
(The mario gang
go inside. The inside gets devided into two ways. The Marios head the left
way. They see a brick wall blocking their trail.)
Mario: Someone's
bricked up the mine. I bet this is where King Koopa is keeping the princess.
(Toad see's a
bomb plant.)
Toad: We can
use those bomb plants to get inside.
(Toad struggles
to pull it out He then gets it and throws it near the brick wall.
Luigi is struggling to pull an egg melon but he's struggling near where
the bomb is about to explode near the brick wall.)
Luigi: Hey, fellows,
LOOK! Egg melons.
Toad: Luigi!!!
You're standing to close. Move back!
Luigi: YIKES!
(The bomb explodes
and it does not break down the brick wall but it knocks out Luigi,)
Mario: Wake up
Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on a job is when we're working by the
hour.
Luigi: Oh! Thanks
Mario, but I can't breath in here. I'm a gondolla!
Mario: That's
a gonner, spaghetti head. GONNER! OH NO! Hang in there little brother.
Mario will get you some fresh air.
(Mario carries
Luigi outside. Mario puts Luigi down outside. He then realizes that King
Koopa and his troops are right outside as well.)
Luigi: Yipes!
Now we're all gondolla!
Koopa: Now, linguini
lips, we'll see who's really the fastest gun in the west.
(A baby Ostro
pops out of Pokey's head, chirping.)
Koopa: At the
cheep of 6, DRAW!
(The baby Ostro
begins chirping until the third time.)
Luigi: Counting
sheep always puts me to sleep.
(Luigi begins
snorring but Mario hits him to wake him up.)
(The baby ostro
cheeps two more times and then Koopa pulls out his little Cobrat as a gun.)
Koopa: GOTCHA!
Mario: That's
only five! You cheated!
Koopa: Like my
grandfather Poopa la Koopa always said, cheat, beat, and be married.
(Koopa shoots
a fireball from the Cobrat's mouth to the Mario Gang.)
Mario: Won't
cheat your way out of this!
(Mario jumps and
avoids the fireball and shoots from his Cobrat gun to Koopa. Koopa and
the troops hide behind a rock.)
Mario: Come on
guys. I bet the smoke's clear. Let's find the princess.
(The guys go
in the mine but they take the right path, leading them to the princess.
They all fall down inside the mine where the princess is in.)
Mario: I knew
we should of looked here first.
Koopa: How nice
of you to drop in on Princess Toadstool. How are you gonna get out now,
draino brains? Ha ha. Now I got you pipesqueeks just where I want you.
(Mario gets near
a pipe and listens.)
Mario: Water!
I hear water. Quick! Luigi, it's time for plumbing power.
Koopa: There's
more than one way to get rid of pests.
Mario: Ready
Luigi!
Luigi: Weady
and waiting. I mean, uh, ready and raiting. I meUH!!! Just FLUSH!
(Mario pulls the
knob all the way.)
Mario: Cool it
Koopa!
(The water comes
up and hits Koopa and his troops sky high.)
Princess: We're
free! How can I thank you?
Mario: That's
easy, I can think of seven ways.
Princess: 7?
Mario: Yeah!
Spaghetti, ravioli, macaroni, tortalini, mazzarelli, linguini, and garlic
ice cream.
The End
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