(The curtain rises to reveal Pipe Land. It is a dark and stormy day as a thunderstorm is happening throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and co. are inside Toad’s house. Luigi is reading a book, Mario is dancing to a record while holding a plunger, and Princess and Toad are staring out the window.)
Princess: Two straight weeks of rain! Ah, the Mushroom Kingdom is going to flood away if this doesn’t stop soon.
Toad: Yeah, but the storm outside the house is nothing compared to the one inside!
(Luigi puts his book over his head.)
Luigi: Mario, turn that racket back down, can’t you see I’m trying to read?
Mario: Well, I want to listen to music! This record’s hot!
(Mario continues to dance as Luigi picks up the record.)
Mario: Huh?
(Luigi tosses it into the fireplace.)
Luigi: There! Now it’s even hotter!
(The record starts to melt.)
Mario: That was my favorite record!
Luigi: Serves you right for the time you busted my favorite wrench!
(Luigi pulls Mario’s hat over his eyes, pulls the straps on his overalls, and pulls on his moustache.)
Mario: Oooh, I hate it when you do that!
Toad: Hey guys, chill out, will ya? It’s being cooped up that’s making you crazy!
Princess: Toad’s right! Whatever happened to Super Mario brotherly love?
(Mario and Luigi start to beat each other up as they continue to argue about stuff like brothers. They eventually stop.)
Mario: As a matter of fact, I wish I didn’t even have a brother!
Luigi: Oh yeah, well then consider yourself debrotherized!
(Luigi opens up the door and walks outside into the rain.)
Luigi: Yeah, well farewell, exbrother!
Princess: Luigi, it’s really wet out there! You better take your Frog Suit!
Luigi: Hey, forget it.
Princess: Somebody better go after Luigi!
Toad: Yeah! It’s not a fit night out for man nor Mushroom!
Mario: Uh, I guess I’ll have to go, he is my brother. Even if that hammerhead can be more trouble than a flooded basement!
(Mario heads out after Luigi.)
Princess: Mario! Take your Frog Suit!
(Meanwhile, we can see a bunch of shower heads in the sky that are hooked up to a pipe. They are what’s causing the rain.)
Kooky (off screen): Looks like my brilliant new invention, the Power Shower, is a Koopa colossal success! I make it rain on the surface of the Mushroom Kingdom-
(Rain falls into a warp pipe on the ground. The water comes out of another pipe in the Pipe Maze and starts gushing into all the other pipes. All the coins are being swept away in the water. The water falls out of a pipe next to Koopa and Kooky and the coins are collected in a strainer while the water falls through a grating.)
Kooky: - and flush out the gold coins, floating in the underground pipe world, so I can collect them here, in this underground dungeon! (jumps) Isn’t that rich? Whoah whoah whoah!
(A nearby pipe breaks and water blasts out, knocking the Koopas on the floor, and it starts to flood the room a little bit.)
Koopa: Hey smarty pants! Your Power Shower sprung a leak! Well don’t just stand there, Kooky, FIX IT!
Kooky: I’m a mad genious, not a plumber!
Koopa: Then we’ll have to Koopnap a pipe patching expert! Get me one of the Mario Brothers!
(Meanwhile, Mario catches up to Luigi, who is standing next to a tree.)
Mario: There you are, you former brother! I’ve been looking all over for you!
Luigi: Oh yeah, who asked you, faucet face?
(Luigi pulls on Mario’s hat, overalls, and moustache again.)
Mario: Oooh, how many times do I have to tell you not do that?!
(Kooky is looking through the Koopascope and has targeted the Brothers.)
Kooky: I’ve got the Mario Bros. on the Koopascope, King Dad! How should we decide which one to Koopnap? Flip a gold coin?
Koopa: Don’t be ridiculous Kooky! We’ll chose this scientifically!
(Koopa walks over to a Mario dartboard and a Luigi one.)
Koopa: Eenie meenie minie mo! I choose you, Mario!
Kooky: Say no more, kooper dooper dad! Just watch me do my nasty stuff!
(Kooky removes the Koopascope from the pipe and returns with something a lot like a fishing rod.)
Kooky: I’ll catch that faucet face with another of my nifty gizmos, the Plumber Pole!
(Kooky casts it and it goes inside the pipe. Back to the Brothers...)
Mario: Oh yeah! You don’t even know enough to wear a Frog Suit out in the wet!
Luigi: I don’t NEED a Frog Suit!
(The hook from the line comes out of the pipe and attaches itself to Mario.)
Mario: Hey, where’d this hook and line come from? It’s not fishing season!
Kooky: Now, a big jerk for that big plumber jerk!
(Kooky pulls it back, causing Mario to go along with it.)
Luigi: Yeesh, Mario’s been caught like a catfish! And he’s getting pulled into a warp zone!
(Mario screams as he enters the Pipe Maze.)
Mario: Uh oh, a pipe world! I’m going down the drain!
(Kooky continues to reel Mario through the pipes until he comes out in the dungeon.
Mario: Whoah!
(Two Hammer Brothers stand next to him so he won’t try any funny stuff.)
Kooky: It worked, my evil daddy-o! Mario’s our prisoner!
Koopa: Kooky, you’re so bad, I’m proud to be your dad!
(The two of them laugh.)
Mario: Looks like I’m plumb out of luck!
(Mario is now tied up on the ground.)
Mario: Fix your own leaky plumbing, you Koopa crackpot, I’ll never help you!
Koopa: Wanna bet, pipesqueek?
(Kooky picks up a helmet with wires and bulbs attached.)
Kooky: We have the power to make you do anything we want, thanks to my latest genius invention, the Lame Brainer!
(Kooky places the Lame Brainer on Mario’s head.)
Mario: Heh heh, nice try Koopa, but it’s gonna take a lot more than a silly party hat to make me-
(The Lame Brainer lights up and Mario stops talking. He manages to break open the rope.)
Mario: (hypnotic voice) Koopmasters, your wish is my command!
Kooky: I’m so smart! Oh, he’s plumber’s putty in our hands!
Koopa: Quit patting yourself on the back, Kooky! Put him to the ultimate test!
(Kooky runs off and returns with some pasta.)
Kooky: Mario! Here’s a tasty, delicious, and all around scrumptious bowl of pasta!
Mario: Mmmm, I’m starving!
Kooky: But Mario, you HATE pasta!
Mario: Ew, I hate pasta! Yuck!
Koopa: Kooptastic! Now make him fix that leak before we’re up to our snouts in water!
(Koopa shakes some water off his foot.)
Koopa: Oh, I hate it when my tootsy wootsies get wet!
(Back at in the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi is standing next to the pipe.)
Luigi: Looks like I’m gonna have to save that bilge brain brother of mine! Him and his dumb advice about wearing a (jumps in) Frog Suit!
(Luigi ends up in the flooded Pipe Maze.
A Boss Bass spots him and starts to chase him. Back at Toad’s house, Toad
and Princess are reading in front of the fireplace. Luigi runs in and goes
into the closet, returns wearing a Frog Suit, and hops out the door. Luigi
has returned to the Pipe Maze. The song “Brotherly Love” starts. Luigi
zooms past the Boss Bass and dodges the attacks of a Lava Lotus. A Bloober
Nanny comes out of a pipe and starts
to chase Luigi. Luigi tricks her into entering a small compartment and
locks her and her kids in. The song ends.)
Luigi: Well, that oughta hold those fish breath foes! Now to rescue Mario!
(Back in the dungeon, Mario fixes the pipe.)
Mario: There my Koopmasters, the leak in the Power Shower is fixed!
(The Koopas clap their hands as Luigi falls out of the pipe.)
Luigi: Whoah!
Koopa: It’s Luigi! What’s that clog clearing frog hopper doing here?
Luigi: Hey you two rancid reptiles! What have you done to my brother?
Kooky: We’ve turned him into our slave! Thanks to our Super Kooper invention!
Koopa: And here’s the proof! Mario, smash, crush, pound, destroy that frog-faced brother of yours!
Mario: Yes Koopmaster!
(Mario goes after Luigi with his wrench.)
Luigi: Hey, Mario, stop! Don’t you know who I am? It’s me, Luigi!
Mario: Smash, crush, pound, destroy!
(Mario tries to hit Luigi with the wrench a few times.)
Luigi: Hey, mamamia! Somehow I’ve got to get Mario to remember I’m his brother!
(Mario tries again but misses.)
Luigi: Mario, think of all the fun we had as kids! All the drains we’ve unclogged! Remember the time you lost your screwdriver and I gave you one of mine?
Mario: I’ll get that frog!
Luigi: Oh boy, looks like I’m gonna have to try another approach!
Luigi pulls the Lame Brainer over Mario’s eyes, then pulls on his overalls and moustache.
Mario: (normal voice) Oh, I hate it when you do that!
(The Lame Brainer flies off Mario’s head and lands on Kooky’s.)
Luigi: Hey, are you alright, brother?
Mario: Fine as a newt fossil, thanks to you brother! Glad to see you took my advice about wearing a Frog Suit!
(The Lame Brainer reactivates as the brothers walk up to Kooky.)
(Mario: Kooky, give old Koopa a Koop where it counts!)
Kooky: (hypnotic voice) Your wish is my command Mario masters!
(Kooky walks up to Koopa.)
Koopa: Kooky, what are you doing? I’m your dear old King Dad!
(Koopa starts to run off as Kooky follows him. Koopa just screams the whole time.
Kooky: Smash, crush, pound, destroy!
(Kooky chases Koopa all the way out of the dungeon.)
Luigi: Heh heh, hey, nice going brother!
(They shake hands.)
Mario: Same to you, brother!
(Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, they are all back at Toad’s house and it has stopped raining.)
Princess: Thanks to you, Mario and Luigi, the Power Shower has been dismantled, and all the gold coins have been returned to the Pipe World, where they belong!
Toad: Way to go, plumber dudes!
Luigi: Yeah, and best of all, Mario and I have agreed to never fight again!
Mario: That’s right! And besides, that argument was all my fault!
Luigi: Well, I beg your pardon, brother, but I believe that argument was all my fault!
Mario: No brother, it was all mine!
Luigi: I insist it was all my fault, brother!
Mario: Well I insist it was all mine, brother!
Princess and Toad: Oh brother!
(Luigi does the pulling routine again.)
Mario: Brothers! Ya can’t live with ‘em, ya can’t live without ‘em!
(Curtain falls.)
The End
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